Television advertising can drive a person nuts. I suspect that I pay far too much attention to endless commercials that shout about so-called “events” that are nothing more than an effort to sell cars, trucks, motor homes, school supplies, even shoes. The reliable Oxford English Dictionary defines an event as something that happens, especially something important.

How important is this sale, if in fact it is different from the seller’s usual effort to sell its product? Not very. To me? Not at all. This sale is just that, a sale. Please stop pretending it is an “event.”

It’s enough to aggravate my “moderate-to-severe” frustration level. Notice how many actors in drug commercials calmly discuss their “moderate-to-severe” medical condition. We know that people don’t talk like that, despite the persistent efforts of the pharmaceutical industry to make it sound natural.

Speaking of big pharma, consider also the cancerous growth of its advertiser-induced language alterations. Some are ridiculous. I have had rheumatoid arthritis since my teens. I never once referred to the condition as “R.A.,” nor has anyone that I know of. Nor have I ever heard anyone speak of “low T” or “E.D.” Please. Call it what it is. If you want to sell me something, speak to me about your product or service in plain English, language that real people normally use.

Real people. Please, for heaven’s sake, stop insulting actors by telling viewers that the people in your commercial are “real people, not actors.” What are actors if not real people? I have known many actors through the years. Been one myself. Believe me, actors are real people. All of them, without exception. I’m surprised that we haven’t heard any complaints from Actors Equity about this offensive message.